Why Getting My Non-Verbal Son’s Christmas Gifts Right Means So Much

Frustrated and pleading, “Come on. You like Jeff Wiggle. Right? It’s a Jeff doll. Yay?” Nada.

Archibald, Reginald, And Captain Crazy Pants

One tiny giggle kept these three alive for over a decade and counting.

Life lessons that served me no good will serve them no good. It’s my duty, as their father, to see that.

All I want to do is spoil him, but I have to do what’s best for him.

It’s the parental curse of eternal-youth vision

There was no way I was having a heart attack. Right? I didn’t have heart attacks. Other people did.

Go ahead. Get your kids. I’ll wait.

I’m writing our life as a thriller in my brain, but it’s really more of a Disney Plus series.

We’re not incredibly smart. We’re moderately old.

Take a moment, think about your words, and then say what’s in your head. Or, even better, don’t.

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