The Crazy Things My Daughter Says

It was the day that she nearly made me laugh so hard that coffee came out of my nose

Getting Angry, Not Staying Angry

I don’t want to live my life angry and, just because I have kids, it doesn’t mean I have to.

The turkey is gobbled and the pumpkins are mulch. You’re allowed to decorate. It’s OK now.

Yeah. He’s not gonna look. You can just take it.

We all rushed to get here. When we did, it was electric bills and frozen waffles.

I’ve had a lot of broken washing machines in my life. Only one was literal and the rest were all figurative.

I’m ready for anything. I’m not excited about it. I’m not looking to have long talks about it. But I am prepared for it.

My son with Autism turned Raffi from singer to icon in our house.

My pockets overflow with Hershey wrappers. They tumble out along the floor like product placement in a Hansel and Gretel movie.

I pictured her handing me paper stacks of glue and popsicle sticks until she was in her 50s.