This entire process went from a minor annoyance to a major catastrophe. Suddenly the new normal today was something that would have seemed like science fiction in February.
One day without school turned into two and then three and then fifteen. Soon, no one knew what day it was, when things were going back to normal, and what exactly was happening.
Sometimes those golden sentiments of happy-happy joy-joy work in the opposite direction.
Everything started to get cancelled. Basketball, school, Tom Hanks…The sky hadn’t fallen yet. But, man, it felt like it was closing in.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’ll have to lose them one day. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to.
Everyone’s jonesing for that hit of the S’mores. It’s like a town full of Wimpys, promising, “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a Snickerdoodle today.”
It’s like getting abducted by a UFO. You went into this awful experience with an absurdly difficult and disgusting task. Next thing you know, it’s 45 minutes later and you’re sitting on the floor finished, with no recollection of how you got there or what you did.
There are so many pops and cracks, you’d think I was a walking pile of rap music record albums.
“Who has seen me today? Did I talk to people like this? What is wrong with my face? Am I freakin’ melting?!”
I want to give lectures about what I was forced to call meals as a child and how we don’t get to choose what we want to eat. But, alas, I’m tired. So I plop the Eggos in the toaster and everyone enjoys their morning.