Tag: mature

How To Know You’re An Adult

We all rushed to get here. When we did, it was electric bills and frozen waffles.

I pictured her handing me paper stacks of glue and popsicle sticks until she was in her 50s.

One day, maybe he’ll be able to tell me, “Yo. Put me down.”

I pictured Ashton Kutcher running into her room and yelling, “We got you, Daddy! Ha! Your friend, God, set you up!”

A voice in my head whispered, “Why did you do that? What do you know about babies?”

No one has to validate your happiness. You just have to feel it.

We were angry over-reactors literally headbutting the walls at the bar. Every glance from a stranger was a reason to defend your honor.

These reminders aren’t just for people with children.

The problem was that I was seeing my life as a movie.

That’s when being really cool became something I talk about in the past tense.