Tag: humor

Before My Morning Coffee

I pictured Ashton Kutcher running into her room and yelling, “We got you, Daddy! Ha! Your friend, God, set you up!”

It’s like living in an Adam Sandler movie.

They know to never listen if I ask them to smell their food or accept a Hurtz Donut.

This is the exact format of nearly every call. It must be in a handbook.

In my day, we didn’t have internet. We had prank phone calls and they were awesome.

An insatiable appetite, nonverbal autism, and surprising cat-like agility,

These reminders aren’t just for people with children.

I had no idea where this concept came from. For the record, I have never stolen gas.

That’s when being really cool became something I talk about in the past tense.

Long after other toys, clothes, and jewelry fade into flea market fodder, they’ll still be the presents that remain in places of prominence.