“Of course I’ll miss these days when she grows up, but that’s on me. It’s why I relish the times now instead of worrying about what tomorrow brings…Why wouldn’t you build a loving relationship now to ensure that she’s not ‘too cool’ for you at 17? You cross bridges when you get to them. You don’t construct them in your mind and then burn them to the ground a decade early.”
– James Guttman, “Let Your Princess Grow Up”, March 1, 2017

When I first started writing Hi Blog! I’m Dad in February of 2017, most of the posts weren’t about my non-verbal son, Lucas. They were about my daughter, Olivia.

Lucas was still a question mark in many ways. I struggled with fears and couldn’t answer basic questions about his hopes and future. It was a tough reality to accept, but one that left me no choice.

Knowing a boy like him was going to take time and, as the blog evolved, I was given that time. I learned what autism was in real time, with all of you reading along and offering support.

Olivia, however, was a different story. She was 8 years old at the time and I knew everything about that little girl. She was my first baby and, for nearly three years, my only baby. I spent more time with her than anyone else on Earth.

Even then, though, I knew our constant hangouts and all-day TV marathons were fleeting. They had to be. Even teenage girls who are incredibly close to their dads eventually form their own lives. I soaked up every moment I could with her, knowing full well that I’d have to endure some heartbreak along the way.

As our lives evolved, so did this blog. I shifted focus to Lucas, who I was finally starting to understand and truly appreciate. Meanwhile, my daughter began to need privacy and asked that I pull back from posting her pictures.

I accepted it. Unlike her brother, Olivia’s perspective was easy to see. If I were a teenager, I wouldn’t want my growing pains pasted across the internet like an Alan Thicke sitcom either. I’d want to grow up in solitude. So that’s what I let her do.

Don’t get it twisted, though. My daughter was then, is now, and will always be one of the brightest lights in my life. The day I die, she’ll be the masterpiece I leave for the world. She is a beautiful, strong, and dedicated young woman, and even as I type this through emotional keystrokes, I can’t fully articulate how proud I am of her.

**SCROLL DOWN FOR THIS WEEK’S EPISODE – EMBEDDED BELOW**

Raising a teenage girl is unlike raising a non-verbal boy with autism. It’s infinitely harder. With Lucas, once you figure certain things out, they stay figured out. If he starts laughing uncontrollably, he’s probably tired. If he starts stimming with that intense look in his eyes, I know he’s getting overstimulated. Those things click and stay clicked, for the most part.

With Olivia, it’s an ever-changing landscape. The cool things in her life changed. Friends came and went. Little Ladies’ dances with dads came to an end. And there were times I felt like I was watching from the outside. She had been my best friend, and I worried that letting her find her way might lead her to a place where there was no room for me.

It was hard and, at times, painful. Still, I made sure she always knew she was my number one girl. I’d work her into these columns and rarely talked about Lucas without citing his sister as an equal. When I wrote my book, Hi World, I’m Dad, I made sure to include a chapter on her and the loving way she supports her brother. No matter the age or distance, I know that she and Lucas are all I need to get up every day and keep moving forward.

People have tried to come between us during those times and have failed every single time. When it comes to my daughter, there’s no gray area. My loyalty is loud, clear, and permanent. This family is ride or die and it’s our way or the Southern State Parkway. Just like her brother, I will always choose Olivia. No questions. No hesitation. Every time.

For those who don’t know her, Olivia is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. I’m not just saying that. Whether it’s literally acing all of her AP tests, getting the highest honors, or earning grades I couldn’t even imagine seeing at her age, my girl has all the qualities I hoped she’d have. She also has an emotional maturity that I sometimes forget is as advanced as it is.

She’s helped me through some hard times and shown patience with me during my missteps. She’s seen my worth when I didn’t always see it myself. While I’ve always done the same for her, I never expected it to be reciprocated the way it has been. Knowing she values me the way I value her is all I’ll ever need to get through my toughest obstacles.

In 2017, I wrote about her future and how one day she’d be 17 and driving. It felt like a hundred years away.

Today, she’s 17 and drives us places in her car. It feels both like a hundred years since I wrote that post… and yesterday all at once.

She is my masterpiece. We’ve weathered storms, and even as future ones spring up, I know we’ll make it through them with love and understanding.

We already have.