Why Does My Nonverbal Son Kiss The TV?

We had just sat down to watch television when my daughter let out a familiar grunt.

“Ugh.“

I was used to it. She was, after all, a teenager and that annoyed sound had become a staple in the house. She used it the way the Smurfs used the word “smurf.”

You OK there, pal?

Normally, her response to this was met with silence. This time around, she explained her grunting and…well, let’s just say it wasn’t what I was expecting.

“Lucas’s lips are all over the television.”

What the hell was she talking about? I asked her.

What the hell are you talking about?

The answer showed that she was more tuned into some of the house stuff than I was.

“Lucas kisses the TV. You never saw him do it? You can’t see all the lip prints on there?”

I don’t normally pull out the “I’m old” card on my daughter, but I had to this time. I saw nothing from across the room. Then, as I approached the screen, I saw it.

There were smudgy little lip prints everywhere. My TV looked like a clingy girlfriend on iMessage. What had this kid been doing?

Once you see the first one, you start to see them all. My eyes drifted to the picture of Kurt Cobain hanging beside it. The glass covering the Nirvana singer…yup, you guessed it…covered in smooches.

My son kisses the TV. He kisses framed pictures. He kisses mirrors. Why? I honestly don’t know.

All I knew was that this kissing-bandit shenanigans wasn’t limited to the den. The mirror in my Lucas’s room was constantly covered in smudges that, upon examination, were from his mouth.

Was he kissing the reflection of his image? Is my kid Narcissus? Is all of my writing about how my nonverbal son has no ego out the kiss-smudged window? Is he literally trying to make out with himself?

I mean, chances are he just likes the feeling of the smooth surface. Thankfully, he keeps that stuff to in-home TVs. I’ve never seen him do it in public. Then again, I hardly ever see him do it at home either, so who knows? He’s like the smooching Batman.

So many of these posts are about the beauty in which Lucas sees the world. Rarely, if ever, do I specifically tell you what those ways are. This is one of them. It can be, at times, confusing.

While the smooth surface explanation feels like a solved case, it actually isn’t. My little man has a worldview like an onion. Peel away one layer and others are waiting beneath.

The reason the surface thing doesn’t answer the question is that Lucas has long been obsessed with glares. Whether in a mirror, window, screen, or picture, my son will spot a reflection or glare with his side eye and fixate on it.

I’ve had to leave play gyms because of his unwillingness to leave the waiting area with the big window. If there’s a glare to be seen, he finds it.

In fact, two years ago, I took him and his sister to a surround-sound concert. The room was full of speakers and lights, and you took in the music on an immersive level. The whole time, he stared into his sister’s eyes.

Aww, Olivia. Look. He’s staring at you.

She didn’t break eye contact as she answered, still allowing him to peer closely into her pupils.

“He’s looking at the reflection of the lights behind him in my eyeballs.”

Now, anyone else in my position would have said the same thing. It’s how most people would frame a moment like that.

“Oh no. He’s not. He’s looking into your eyes. He loves your eyes.”

That’s not what I said. Instead, I said the actual truth, not what I felt I should.

Hmmm. I think you’re right. That’s sweet that you’re letting him do it. It’s cute, though. I’ll take pictures.

And I did.

The truth is, saying my son marches to the beat of his own drum is more than a catchphrase or feel-good platitude. It’s real and, in some cases, it makes no sense. I can’t tell you why he does it.

But we respect it and we allow it. When Lucas peers into your eyes, you let him. The things he loves, we encourage, even if we don’t fully understand.

In a way, that’s what Lucas does for us every day. He might not know why we need to run to the supermarket, but he comes along. I might not know why he kisses the mirror in his room, but I let it go and just buy wipes for it.

We respect each other because that’s what families do.

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